Rantings & ravings of a slightly cynical often sarcastic but never dull individual

Thursday, November 03, 2005

THE UNBLOGABLE BLOGINESS OF BLOGING


...Now try say that 10 times really fast under the influence of intoxicating perception altering substances!

not sure if I should have entitled this post-"Ode to the abscence of thought", but then again a rose by any other name...etc.

This post is really a watershed moment for me in my blogging novicehood and I do believe may be the first of many rights of passage I will obtain in the world of blogging,firstly I'll have to stop spelling blogg with 2 g's,ok-lets try that "b- l- o- g"-not soo hard afterall...

so whats all the fuss about... I was inspired to write a blog "lish'ma",for it's own sake,for no alternate reasons I could fathom other than to keep cyberspace affloat with my pillars of wisdom...ok so while i'm here I might as well conceive one...

have u ever noticed how some people have the abillity to see the glass half full whilst others completly the opposite,now I'm not talking about the guy who has wine spilt on his shirt at a wedding and thanx the spiller,assuring him that without this true act of "chesed"(kindness) he'd never have washed it tonight,but has just been inspired to do so.All this being part of his psychological problem of being a "laundryphile".

-no not that type of person.
i'm talking about the type who has to assume the worst in any situation,the one who searches the greatest act of philanthropy for the smackering of self-interest.Most of us know of such a character...all I can say is that I pitty being inside your head because it must be a lonely place on that pedicle.

There must be a 100 cheesy syaings to fit this message,but i can't think of one,so i'll end with a recomendation-"search for the positive and you'll find it..search for the negative and it'll find u"-

no I really did just make that up,and if it makes sense-thats doubly great...

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

A WARPED BIRTHDAY PERSPECTIVE



It's that time of year again...Yip,for me it's November,for you possibly one of 11 others,it's Birthday season-now I'm not big into celebrating birthdays,and haven't had a real shindig on the occasion for a while,but for some strange reason this November provided me with what I can safely say is the most warped birthday perspective I've ever had...(standby,this may actually be interesting!)

I was just pondering how whatever age you're at at any particular moment in life,you fall into a particular bracket for susceptibility to various medical conditions or diseases, young or old threes always a higher incidence of particular conditions at your stage in life (this is seriously compounded being Ashkenazi,since with the exception of a few Cossack interventions most of us 3rd or 4th cousins!:-)but don't get me started on Jewish genetics,it's a tender issue in my head...)

This thought process was definitely catalysed by me being convinced that a pain in my thumb was without a doubt some strange auto-immune disease which I had no doubt acquired through dodgy Ashkenazi DNA,what wasn't strange was that my Orthopod thought the same,but..whew..,all tests came back negative,I guess it was just a sore thumb!(I'm really not a hyperchondriac,it was a valid concern..)

But while waiting for the results I looked up this auto-immune disorder which I thought only occurred in the aged and low and behold..."Occurs in adults from the age of 25"-what the hell!!I just made it by a year or so...That's not fare-this is pretty much how I felt when I turned 25 cos I know that, that's when males become susceptible to cardiac failure.-talk about warped perspective on your age...I guess looking at the glass half full I can gladly say that I'm no longer likely to get croup!!

anyway...I'm not continuing my tirade on medical incidence stats,but I though that this truly was one of those pearls of wisdom that you can only really share with identityless bloggers in the blogger-sphere

so good work men...(that's men in the humanistic sense,don't want any bra-burning liberal hate-mail!)

Monday, October 31, 2005

Looking back on tomorrows' yesterday



I was having one of those insomniac/nostalgic moments-you know the ones where you’re exhausted and know that you have tones to get done in the morrow, yet your conscious won’t let you join its counterpart-(yip we all know what I’m referring to..)

Well…. in this state of involuntary consciousness I was paging through an old diary, and I remembered an entry I made while in basic training, at the time it was completely appropriate, but even then I remember thinking how I would view this prose in the future.

I can honestly say that it was a somber period in my life when I composed this prose, but I thought I’d pen it down in cyberspace for the benefit of anyone who stumbles across it because I felt it helped me gain perspective in a period in my life when the next second was considered far-sighted

I called it “Looking back on tomorrows’ yesterday”

A strange phenomenon exists in life-we embark upon a journey with no other desire other than to look back on it, what we neglect to realize is that the primary reason for us wanting to look back on it is because of what the “journey” is intended to contribute-but what practically happens is we regret setting out on the journey specifically due to the reasons that we wanted to conquer in order to look back on a challenging journey completed-The art of continuing the initial motivation is by simultaneously anticipating the final destination and the feeling that provided the inspiration together with an appreciation that the difficulty presently encountered is the means for attaining the final goal-not to say “if only it was over” because if in place of the present difficulty it really was over then nothing actually has been achieved

…now isn’t that a little deep for a sleep deprived toy soldier! (I didn’t edit the grammar or diction, because I wanted it to retain the spirit and sense of mind in which it was composed) -The irony of it was that I was actually composing this prose while in a lecture hall on some military topic which I obviously won’t recall and my officers were none the wiser since I was jotting down notes fervently, which they assumed were on the topic at hand.

My parting thought is just an observation that it’s fascinating to look back at different periods of your life and take stock of what has changed, what’s remained constant and how our priorities and ideals adapt to the realities which avail themselves

Sunday, October 23, 2005

WHAT MEN WANT WOMAN TO WANT THEM TO WANT(1)


It's been a while since I've been exposed to the blogging scene since I've been without broadband for over a year now, and I must say I’m far less productive since I got back in the saddle. But be that as it may I've been over-exposed to the amount of whining about the dating scene primarily by the "shorter" gender for want of a less neutral term...!

It seems a futile endeavor to try and defend the historically "dominating" gender which I quite gratefully subscribe to, so I won’t, but clarity and correlation does seem sorely lacking in that vicious world called "the dating scene"-this I can say from experience since I once was a part of it, and have gratefully suspended myself from it on a voluntary hiatus until I decide otherwise.

It would be far too presumptuous of me to believe that in one minute blogg entry in a galaxy of estrogen dominated bloggs that I could obtain this clarity but I do believe that as with any journey it must begin with that first small step.

This journey I would like to begin with something which I noticed about myself, something which I might add, actually came as a surprise to me.... and that is, wait for it…..that men actually do NOT know what they want out of a women (and as a continuation of that what they want out of a relationship.)

Now wait a second…. isn’t that what every hour-glass shaped, heart broken(or at least mildly contused) red blooded female author of most of these bloggs has been shouting out from the top of the highest point anyone will actually let her climb….and the answer is yes-but that’s why I said that a problem lies in correlation, whereas “she” seems to think that her perspective on the relationship was the same one held by both parties-and my answer in the most condescending fashion I can say it is “no sweet thing, not at all!”

My great realization came after been badgered by friends into believing that I actually wanted something in/out of a relationship that I initially definitely didn’t want, and now even though I have no intention on acting upon this new “found” desire (for the time being) I realized that they were able to change my mind about what I wanted (and I stress not what I “thought” I wanted, but what I genuinely wanted)

So what is all the verbiage about…I’ll tell you it’s my point, the point I try and try but no woman will hear me, I would shout it out from the closest power-station tower (provided that didn’t create other issues)-my point being that men don’t know what the want-and the job/function of a “woman” is to make sweet prince charming (because we all are, as u know) want what you want him to want i.e. YOU.

And further than that I’m not going in this blogg, so until next time….sweet dreams

TRANSLATE MY DATE


There are some phenomenons in life that everyone seems to be aware of, yet not actually notice. One of these phenomenons which just scream out loud is that when two people of opposing genders can be sitting in a close proximity to each other, with no external extraneous factors disturbing them, paying full attention to each others every voice inflection (for those who really are a little slow…that’s right I’m talking about a “date”!) and with all the concentration they can muster they are attentively absorbing every syllable from the this potential “knight in shining armor on his noble steed”(or whatever tickles your particular fancy you can substitute!) .It seems that with all this Herculean effort both parties can obtain completely different perspectives and understandings on what transpires at this “meeting”

I’ll substitute the metaphysical for solid examples momentarily, but let my musings linger for a moment longer (i.e. bear with here…)

The bottom line is that guys and gals interpret things differently. I don’t say misinterpret because I don’t believe that is the issue at hand, a person can only interpret something according to their own reference frame and thus you can’t accuse them of misinterpreting something unless you are aware of their reference frame, so it pays to be unambiguous in your dealings with the opposing gender-just like you wouldn’t give directions to a foreign tourist using Shakespearian jargon, because you know it’s simply inappropriate-so too with that poor soul in the seat opposite you, you need to exercise a bit of clarity.

Lets look at some examples…the serious part is over, this is quite tender and cute.

When a guy says to you “you look great”…Does he mean?:
(a)I was told to always complement a woman on how she looks and this is the safest complement I could think off (Since last time I told a woman I liked the way she did her hair she assumed I hated the way she wore it last time and called me a bastard male pig and no different from the rest of them!)
(b)She really looks like that woman from my nightmare last night, and I have a strange feeling I’m going to confirm that shortly.
(c)I’m a boring dud of a date with zero imagination and the word “great” really is the limit of my creativity. (This however should be relatively easy to confirm in the duration of the evening)
(d)You really look “great” and I feel like the luckiest guy in the world that you’re spending this glorious night with me and if I had to pick a time to die it would be now, because I can’t possibly imagine getting any closer to heaven than I am right now.

When a gal says to you “so, what do you do?”…Does she mean?
(a)What do you do for a living?
(b)I’m just trying to make polite conversation, I don’t actually care what you do, I just want to check if you could possibly be the father of my children, the pillar of my life, the be all and end all to my woes, the man I’ve been dreaming about since I started dreaming
(c)How much cash do you make and what kind of juice can I squeeze out of you if I take you for a spin
(d)There really isn’t anybody else I can talk to right now and since I don’t want to be socially inept I’m going to speak to you until the first opportune moment arises for me to break away and converse with something or someone else-but no offence looser you’re not my type!

I think my point is self evident, guys and gals don’t speak a common language, the grammar may be the same but the meaning is encrypted.
I don’t have a fool proof solution to this “problem”, but I do think in my humble opinion that there are ways to bypass this hurdle and obtain clarity within a relationship, but these solutions are for another time, I’ll try pen them down soon, but if I don’t, feel free to pester me for them.

Until next time…blogg on!